Friday, December 18, 2009

Going out-What to expect when teens start dating

Your idea of dating is probably filled with dinners, movies, museums and uninterrupted conversation. The chance to get out of the house with your partner and share an intimate dinner for two or taking a lazy afternoon stroll are just a few enticing dating options for busy adults. Walking hand in hand as you're fighting for space in a crowded hallway while carrying multiple books, stopping every 10 feet to chat with a friend or get the inside track on an upcoming test definitely does not seem to classify as any type of romantic interlude let alone a date. Oddly enough, the latter situation is one that occurs countless times every day of the school year. "Going out" and "seeing each other" are frequently uttered phrases in our children's middle and high schools. In the halls, friends are coerced into acting as a covert liaison with a secret crush. "Breaking up" and "getting back together" happens as frequently as pencils are sharpened. Children spend hours talking on the phone and on the bus about how to find a love interest, how to lose a love interest or who has a new love interest. While our children are in a terrific hurry to experiment with affairs of the heart, parents are not always as willing or prepared for this phase of their child's life. The potential for youngsters to experience a broken heart, or be misinformed about reproduction and disease, is significantly higher when they begin dating at a young age. When a child starts to feel he is old enough to be part of what he perceives is an adult relationship, he begins to make judgments based on the advice of friends, examples in the media and raging hormones. Sitting down for a heart to heart with Mom on his struggles in algebra is replaced with hours instant messaging his new love interest. Trying to help their child navigate through the intrepid waters of first loves often leaves parents feeling as naive as their children do.

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